THIS IS WHAT Soul journaling LOOKS LIKE

BLOG POST 3

Thursday June 10, 2021, I want to remember that day – simply to remember that in the midst of chaos all I felt was energies of Love and Gratitude coursing through me.  There was no real 3D REASON to feel that way, it was like any other day – I was at work and I was at my desk.

 

But that day I felt like I leaned into my intuition a little bit more.  I was just open to whatever the day brought – I was happy – I was giddy – someone gave me a bottle of champagne out of the blue and that little action triggered a moment of – I DO MAGNETIZE ABUNDANCE – which led me to write a mini channeled message about Abundance – which then turned to just pure LOVE AND GRATITUDE.  While it lasted for longer than the one day – most of the weekend and I still do feel it coursing through me, some shadow aspects started to come up – things that needed to be acknowledged and left in the past once and for all.

 

For some reason it always, always starts with a “guy”.  I had a beautiful Soul connection and conversation with someone and it just felt really good to be in this space of flirting, soul conversation and spontaneity.  But then I started to project my desire for my Beloved onto this guy – who is an innocent bystander at the end of the day and truth is – he probably felt the “needy” energy coming through – hence why I haven’t heard from him.  But also what were my expectations exactly?  Truth is my projections and my NEED for someone male to connect with over-rode my intuition to step back and allow for things to unfold or not as they may – but instead I allowed this neediness and loneliness to overtake the situation and the minute I sent the message I regretted it immediately.  I knew, I felt it – REGRET – then – NEEDINESS – I kept checking to see if he responded – then REJECTION.  I literally went through so many emotions in a span of 24 hrs – and well I felt like I fell back into the old cycle and pattern.

 

And while I am still unraveling these emotions – and while I still do have this lingering feeling of rejection in my heart – I know that it won’t last forever and I also at least know now why I did that.

 

It has everything to do with some un-healed part of me that needs to be wanted and needed by another.  So I over insert myself and put out this energy of neediness – which in some F*d up way I believe will make them stay and want me more – but in reality that is a) not the feminine way b) not the way I want to show up in my relationships c) not that person I want to be.

 

So where is this coming from?  You see I am still subconsciously feeling the effects of abandonment as a child and it steeps in every so often in my need for relationships to be exactly how I had planned them and how I want them to be.  But it does not work that way – people – relationships they cannot be controlled and manipulated in the way that I want and Need them to be just because I HAVE the abandonment and feel rejected.  Truth is no one owes me anything – if there truly was a Soul Connection then I cannot sabotage that – but if there is NO Soul Connection – no amount of manipulating, controlling and even praying this situation to go my way would make any difference – if anything it has just brought me to a lot of suffering.

 

Is my feeling of Abandonment and Rejection REAL? – yes it is – it absolutely is a REAL emotion – in this particular situation – him not responding to me – is that me being REJECTED? – the TRUTH is – NO – I guarantee he doesn’t even think anything of not responding – I’m just some random person he met the other day!! LOL Furthermore – there might even be a more psychic reason he is not responding because his senses are probably Code Red Clinger! LOL  Either way – this feeling of REJECTION – it is an illusion because – it has nothing to do with how the other person is responding or not responding – it has everything to do with my own inner insecurities about men and relationships – which is something I am still healing and continue to heal.  As I learn and grow into more mature and secure friendships – I feel that is the healing journey towards having a secure more loving relationship with a partner. 

 

Truth is I brought the suffering to myself the last few days – the silver lining is that this situation brought up another layer of abandonment and rejection to the surface to be addressed and healed permanently.  I feel like all of this had to happen for me to come to that realization.  The other piece of it is that the Love and Gratitude is settling in nicely – I feel it coursing through me and feel it come into power more and more.

 

What did I learn from this Situation?

  • 1 don’t take it personally that he has not responded. He owes me nothing, it was just me that was romanticizing this experience – not every man I meet is going to be my Beloved – LOL! 
  • I romanticize every male encounter I have ever had since I was young and only end up feeling “rejected” because they didn’t like me or want to be with me. Well MR ego did it ever occur to you that we deserved better and that those men would never live up to our expectations anyway so we will do everything we can to sabotage the relationship so that they can’t meet any of our needs and expectations when we over deliver and we then in turn REJECT them by walking away because according to you NO ONE rejects us – we reject them?! Oh mr Ego!
  • Anytime I meet someone of the opposite sex that remotely perks up my V (yes that’s right I said it)– I need to really step back and take a deep breath and stand in my power – stand in my feminine energies of receiving rather than being in this energy of neediness.  I am worthy of someone wooing me.  That’s another thing it’s almost like I don’t trust that if someone is meant for me – HE will be the one to come to me – instead I force communication with someone that I am remotely attracted to so they can acknowledge me?! And when they don’t I feel REJECTED all over again?! What a Mind Fuck!
  • What if I just stand in my Feminine Magic my goddess energy of I am Worthy and I am Deserving – how would that shift my energy and the paradigm in which I am experiencing these encounters?
  • I am so tired of feeling this way – I am so tired of living from the past experiences of when I felt “rejection” – when in reality – they were not rejecting me – they have the right to choose for themselves who they wanted to be with and who they wanted to give attention to – mr ego just can’t handle the fact that we are not everyone’s cup of tea 

 

THEN MY SOUL CAME THROUGH WITH A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE….

 

 

Until Next Soul Session.

 

In Love. In Light. In Gratitude.

 

xoxo

P

 

purpose 

BLOG POST 2

AHA MOMENT ABOUT PURPOSE

 

We are so caught up on finding our purpose that the reality and the truth is – OUR PURPOSE IS TO CO-CREATE OUR HEAVEN ON EARTH

TO CO-REATE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE – TO CO-CREATE OUR HIGHEST TIMELINE – TO CO-CREATE – WE ARE GODDESS EXPRESSING HERSELF IN HUMAN FORM.

 

Purpose/Dharma – it’s not a destination or a “work” goal. 

 

IT IS A WAY OF BEING…I IS A WAY OF LIFE…

 

By focusing on FINDING our PURPOSE or DHARMA – We miss the whole point of LIVING OUR LIFE TO IT’S HIGHEST EXPRESSION AND POTENTIAL because we are searching rather than LIVING.

 

Our purpose here on earth is to LIVE, to CO CREATE to LOVE – that is our PURPOSE.  What we create is our legacy, what we share is LOVE.

 

When we truly begin to Live our Life to the fullest potential – portals will open up for opportunities that will Light Our Soul on Fire.  Opportunities will come our way and we will have no choice but to respond to it because it is a FULL BODY YES.  Everything that we do is steeped in CO CREATION, ABUNDANCE, LOVE.

 

PURPOSE/DHARMA – It’s not our next job. It’s not our career.  It is our OFFERING, our SERVICE TO HUMANITY as part of CO-CREATING with the Goddess.

 

The Paradigm Shift is from NEEDING TO DO,DO, DO TO FIND our PURPOSE – TO –  LIVING OUR BEST LIFE BY FILLING OUR LIFE WITH MORE OF WHAT WE LOVE, BY BEING OUR HIGHEST EXPRESSION, BY TAPPING INTO OUR HIGHEST TIMELINE ON A DAILY BASIS, BY FOCUSING ON ALL THE LOVING EXPERIENCES AND ENERGIES THAT WE WANT TO BRING INTO OUR LIFE – EVERYTHING ELSE WILL FALL INTO PLACE….

 

Until Next Soul Session.

 

In Love. In Light. In Gratitude.

 

xoxo

P

 

ACTIVATE

BLOG POST 1

In our lives there will be people that ACTIVATE us.  When I say ACTIVATE I mean, they will spark something within us that will be so profound and life changing that we will have absolutely NO CHOICE but to be propelled to our highest expression. We will feel it within every cell of our body, it will feel like a fire in our soul and our heart will be ignited to bring us to this next level version of ourselves.

 

The FIRST Person/s (there may be multiple people throughout our life) that will ACTIVATE us is someone/s that seemingly had done something to us that is so heartbreaking to the point of losing our self or our sense of self.  This is the person/s that we feel like did us wrong.  They broke our heart, they disappointed us to no end, they disrespected us, they did this and that – it’s the feeling of THEY DID THIS TO ME!  They ACTIVATED YOU in form of TRIGGERS – TRIGGERS are warnings from our SOUL that we have unhealed wounds that need to be addressed.  TRIGGERS are our SOULS way to communicate with us THAT IT IS TIME.  It is TIME to TAKE OUR POWER BACK from this person/s and come back home to our TRUTH – which is OUR MAGIC AND POWER.

 

The SECOND Person that will ACTIVATE us is US – it’s YOU. At some point when we have allowed ourselves to suffer in what seems like the hands of others, situations or experiences – there will come a point when you are ready,  YOU / YOUR SOUL will ACTIVATE you into AWARENESS – into finally stepping back from saying I blame this person, I blame that person, I blame this experience – I blame everyone and everything – BUT WAIT – I AM THE COMMON DENOMINATOR – hhhhmmm. 

 

It’s almost like an out of body experience where you are looking at everyone in your life and everything that has happened in your life and you’re seeing it from a very different perspective or vantage point where you realize that – everything is happening AROUND YOU – everything is happening like a dream – and you step back from this dream and REALIZE – Wait I have the POWER to step back and look at this from a different perspective? I can look at this person/s and situation/s from such awareness and understanding. 

 

But see when our SOUL activates us – there is always FREE WILL – we can CHOOSE to allow person/s, situation/s and experience/s bring us “SUFFERING” or we can CHOOSE to understand WHY this is happening, WHY I am experiencing this, WHY am I feeling triggered, WHY am I doing the things that I do?!  They conversation then flips and changes from THEY DID THIS TO ME / THIS HAPPENED TO ME to WHY DO I ALLOW THEM TO DO THIS TO ME? WHY DO I ALLOW THESE EXPERIENCES?  WHY DO I…It is your SOUL giving you the nudge to LOOK WITHIN to find the answers to the WHY – to LOOK WITHIN to HEAL what brought on the TRIGGERS.  This is when you take back your power to CHOOSE – do you CHOOSE to continue to SUFFER, or do you CHOOSE Healing, Freedom, Peace.  You get to CHOOSE, you get to give yourself PERMISSION to CHOOSE for you, you get to take your POWER BACK.

 

The THIRD Person/s that will ACTIVATE you are those who have gone down this path, those that one day decided ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH. I no longer Play in Suffering.  I no longer Play in Victim Mode.  I no longer Play in the Past.  These are the people that made the CHOICE to take their POWER and MAGIC back to go within and shift their perspective, shift their paradigm, shift their mindset and filled their life with Healing and Self Mastery.  These are the people that you see that have gone through the deepest darkest recesses of their heart and their pain and came out of it RISING UP.  These are the people that will come into your life to ACTIVATE you and make you realize that HEALING is possible for YOU.  That the ABUNDANT LIFE they are living after going through their SOUL ACTIVATION – is POSSIBLE for you.  They are Mentors, Coaches, Soul Tribe – They are the PEOPLE/S that your SOUL magnetizes to your life to SHOW you that EVERYTHING YOU DESIRES is on the other side of HEALING, it’s on the other side of GOING WITHIN and ELIMINATING EVERYONE ELSE BY ILLUMINATING YOU. They are people LIKE ME.

 

I am PATRICIA CHIARA and this is my STORY…MY COME BACK STORY…MY SOUL PATH TO LOVE.  The LOVE THAT HAS BEEN WITH ME ALL ALONG – I JUST NEEDED TO GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO GO THERE AND BELIEVED WITH ALL MY HEART THAT I WAS WORTHY OF IT ALL.

Until Next Soul Session.

 

In Love. In Light. In Gratitude.

 

xoxo

P